Dear media sales…

Can I just say at the outset, that I like media sales people. Often they have great market intelligence and we want the same thing ultimately – to get the most awareness for our joint clients. This is not a paid for vs earned diatribe.

But oh, don’t you just hate poorly researched sales letters, whoever they are from?   I’m sure you’ve had your fair share too, so for all of us, I’ve penned a response. (The original email is below)

Dear media sales…

Hello Tristan, good luck with your new role. Whilst you haven’t solicited any advice, may I offer some?

Firstly, sales people, in my experience, always start a conversation with a cursory ‘how are you?’ It’s shorthand for ‘prepare yourself – you’re about to be sold to’.  Do try to break the mould. Let’s face it, you’re not that bothered how I am, and really I don’t know you well enough to share it.

Secondly, exclamation marks in an email are best kept for either spam mail or in response to friends.

And finally – you might start with enquiring if I have clients who might want to advertise in your title, not just assume that I do. As it happens, I don’t.

I work with a range of clients including manufacturers of wind turbine towers, telecoms towers, plastic injection moulding, industrial laminates; environmental waste services and logistics companies. Even a music hub. If you have any magazines relevant to these sectors or their customers’ sectors, then do let’s have another conversation.

With best wishes

Amanda

And this is the actual email to me…

Good Afternoon ,
I hope you are well?

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself. My name is Tristan and I am new to [I’ve deleted the name to protect the guilty] magazine. I am looking after the classified section of …

To kick start my first issue I am able to offer you an amazing deal!

Book an advertorial with me & I will save you an extra £100 by running the full release on the website as part of the package!

[and so it continued – I’ll spare you the minutiae]